A zillion years ago, when I read it, I reviewed the author's story and expressed my disappointment in the prank. She chose not to respond. In fairness, she had a LOT of reviews to the story, so I imagine it was difficult for her to give each of them a personal acknowledgment. I was not then, nor am I now, offended that she didn't reply.
So yesterday the subject of bullying in the fandom came up on Twitter, and during the course of the conversation, I made some flippant remarks about the anti-gay sentiment in "a story that may or may not be called Hit By Destiny". I'm pretty sure that's how I phrased it, which, to be fair, was bitchy. The whole thing was sort of bitchy. I was fairly dismissive of the writer, ocdmess, and I take full responsibility for my inconsiderate attitude. I wasn't being very nice.
This morning, I received an email on Fanfiction.net, justifiably calling me out on my thoughtlessness. I responded, she responded, and in the end, we failed to see eye to eye. I was a little too accusatory, she was a little too defensive, and it seems that she still fails to see how her story perpetuates negative stereotypes.
Nice try, Worm.
Hello,
I'm Em (or ocdmess) and I'm the author of Hit By Destiny.
I saw your tweets where you outed me as being "anti-gay" and I have to tell you that I was offended by it - just as you were obviously offended by that one thing in my story that was meant as a harmless joke. I am nowhere near anti-gay (quite the opposite for "obvious reasons", but I won't get into that), but I doubt you care about that.
Since you were talking about bullying in your tweets, I wish you would have contacted me about being offended by my stories instead of "outing" me as anti-gay because you misinterpreted the point behind the joke in my story.
I apologize for taking up your time.
- Em
2hrs 3mins ago
I'm Em (or ocdmess) and I'm the author of Hit By Destiny.
I saw your tweets where you outed me as being "anti-gay" and I have to tell you that I was offended by it - just as you were obviously offended by that one thing in my story that was meant as a harmless joke. I am nowhere near anti-gay (quite the opposite for "obvious reasons", but I won't get into that), but I doubt you care about that.
Since you were talking about bullying in your tweets, I wish you would have contacted me about being offended by my stories instead of "outing" me as anti-gay because you misinterpreted the point behind the joke in my story.
I apologize for taking up your time.
- Em
2hrs 3mins ago
I did, in fact, mention my problem with your story in my reviews, so it probably shouldn't come as a surprise to you. It's a little disturbing that you think the attitude you expressed is harmless. It's not.
The sad thing is, I really enjoyed your story. It was creative and interesting, and I had intended to recommend it to others until I came across your little "prank."
Your story, along with one other, resulted in the following author's note on one of my chapters:
"So a recent rash of suicides in the United States has prompted a set of public service announcements featuring everyone from Adam Lambert to Cindy McCain, all with the same hopeful theme:
"'It gets better.'
"Public figures are banding together to try to bring hope to gay kids, promising them that eventually, the bullying stops. I love to watch those messages . . . but I cringe when I come here to FanFic land and see one reminder after another that, hey . . . it's not better.
"I'm frustrated by the number of times I've come across phrases like "That's so gay," or "Don't be such a fag," in stories that I've read recently. There's one fic that I really enjoy, but I can't bring myself to recommend to anyone because there's a whole section about a prank played on a boy to make people think he's gay - implying, of course, that homosexuality is something to be ashamed of. And the reviews for that story? The author was congratulated again and again on such a hilarious prank.
"It made me feel sick.
"You readers and writers out there know how powerful words can be. Slurs and epithets don't make our characters cool or interesting, and they definitely don't make us better writers. Slurs and epithets breed hate. I beg you, my fellow writers, not to allow bigotry into your stories. People who identify as LGBTQ are not punchlines, and treating them as such has very serious consequences. Kids kill themselves. I understand that people have moral reservations about homosexuality, but surely we can all rally behind an anti-suicide banner, can't we?
"It only gets better if we make it better. I hope I can count on my friends to foster a respectful environment here, and I encourage you all to speak out when you see someone creating an atmosphere of hate. We all know how much reviews mean to a writer, so when you see that kind of ugliness, please drop a quick review to let the writer know - respectfully! - that you're disappointed in their choice to harbor intolerance.
"Let's live up to the promise. Let's make it better."
It wasn't my intention to offend you, and I probably should have been slightly less careless with my words in a public forum. But I'm afraid I can't apologize for my views. You may think of yourself as an enlightened individual, but your writing displayed an ugly prejudice. Whether you want to recognize that and do something about it is up to you.
1hr 27mins ago
The sad thing is, I really enjoyed your story. It was creative and interesting, and I had intended to recommend it to others until I came across your little "prank."
Your story, along with one other, resulted in the following author's note on one of my chapters:
"So a recent rash of suicides in the United States has prompted a set of public service announcements featuring everyone from Adam Lambert to Cindy McCain, all with the same hopeful theme:
"'It gets better.'
"Public figures are banding together to try to bring hope to gay kids, promising them that eventually, the bullying stops. I love to watch those messages . . . but I cringe when I come here to FanFic land and see one reminder after another that, hey . . . it's not better.
"I'm frustrated by the number of times I've come across phrases like "That's so gay," or "Don't be such a fag," in stories that I've read recently. There's one fic that I really enjoy, but I can't bring myself to recommend to anyone because there's a whole section about a prank played on a boy to make people think he's gay - implying, of course, that homosexuality is something to be ashamed of. And the reviews for that story? The author was congratulated again and again on such a hilarious prank.
"It made me feel sick.
"You readers and writers out there know how powerful words can be. Slurs and epithets don't make our characters cool or interesting, and they definitely don't make us better writers. Slurs and epithets breed hate. I beg you, my fellow writers, not to allow bigotry into your stories. People who identify as LGBTQ are not punchlines, and treating them as such has very serious consequences. Kids kill themselves. I understand that people have moral reservations about homosexuality, but surely we can all rally behind an anti-suicide banner, can't we?
"It only gets better if we make it better. I hope I can count on my friends to foster a respectful environment here, and I encourage you all to speak out when you see someone creating an atmosphere of hate. We all know how much reviews mean to a writer, so when you see that kind of ugliness, please drop a quick review to let the writer know - respectfully! - that you're disappointed in their choice to harbor intolerance.
"Let's live up to the promise. Let's make it better."
It wasn't my intention to offend you, and I probably should have been slightly less careless with my words in a public forum. But I'm afraid I can't apologize for my views. You may think of yourself as an enlightened individual, but your writing displayed an ugly prejudice. Whether you want to recognize that and do something about it is up to you.
1hr 27mins ago
I'm genuienly surprised you got that upset, but I guess it is a sensitive subject, and we all view things differently. My issue here is NOT that you have issues with my story - that is all fine with me - my issue is that you wrongly "outed" me as something seriously offending. Being anti-gay in this day and age is digusting (at least to me) so to "out" me as such is a great insult.
So if you were aiming to insult me, you really succeeded. I understand your point of view, and I respect the fact that you got upset, but I do not respect the way you decided to "deal" with it by "outing" me or whatever.
That is all.
1hr 21mins ago
So if you were aiming to insult me, you really succeeded. I understand your point of view, and I respect the fact that you got upset, but I do not respect the way you decided to "deal" with it by "outing" me or whatever.
That is all.
1hr 21mins ago
Again, you're right, I probably shouldn't have vented my frustrations in such a public forum. But maybe you need to take a closer look at your prejudices. It was, after all, YOUR story that contained the anti-gay sentiments.
1hr 17mins ago
1hr 17mins ago
I have no prejudices - well, that's a lie, obviously. But I have no prejudices against gay-people and I don't think the prank was such a big deal - which is why I included it in the first place.
Maybe it has something to do with me being a swede - we're liberal, we can joke about almost anything without anyone taking offense. Here, people would realize it was a harmless joke and that there was nothing more to it. People wouldn't be reading between the lines, trying to find prejudices and whatnot that aren't even there to begin with.
I'm not stupid - I know that some things are sensitive, and that the subject of being anti-gay is offensive, since so many people are being targeted for being gay... in the states.
From where I'm from, it's okay to be gay, and to joke about being gay, nobody takes offense. I guess I was tpo naive to think all my readers would understand that. We're from different cultures after all.
Anyway, I wrote what I wrote, and I stand by it. But I don't appreciate when people call me such hideous things without "knowing" the whole story, or realizing that my intent was never to send out anti-gay sentiments or show any prejudices (which aren't even mine).
46mins ago
Maybe it has something to do with me being a swede - we're liberal, we can joke about almost anything without anyone taking offense. Here, people would realize it was a harmless joke and that there was nothing more to it. People wouldn't be reading between the lines, trying to find prejudices and whatnot that aren't even there to begin with.
I'm not stupid - I know that some things are sensitive, and that the subject of being anti-gay is offensive, since so many people are being targeted for being gay... in the states.
From where I'm from, it's okay to be gay, and to joke about being gay, nobody takes offense. I guess I was tpo naive to think all my readers would understand that. We're from different cultures after all.
Anyway, I wrote what I wrote, and I stand by it. But I don't appreciate when people call me such hideous things without "knowing" the whole story, or realizing that my intent was never to send out anti-gay sentiments or show any prejudices (which aren't even mine).
46mins ago
Can I ask you a question? Would the joke have bee funny if your characters had made people think Mike were, say, Irish?
No? Why not?
Are you SURE you're being falsely accused, here?
38mins ago
No? Why not?
Are you SURE you're being falsely accused, here?
38mins ago
From where I'm from, being Irish can be a joke if Mike was a ginger as well - seeing as "they have no soul" (as the internet meme goes). So yes, the joke would still have been funny if he was accused of being irish, and then being offended for not having a soul.
Are you sure YOU don't have any prejudices on the subject, seeing as you're being so aggressive at accusing others of having them?
23mins ago
Are you sure YOU don't have any prejudices on the subject, seeing as you're being so aggressive at accusing others of having them?
23mins ago
This is disappointing. I had hoped that, after a frank and open discussion on the matter, you would be willing to admit the prejudice that you - no doubt inadvertently - perpetuated in your story. I'm sad to see that you've closed your eyes to it.
I wish you good things.
12mins ago
I wish you good things.
12mins ago
And I'm sad to see that you're so narrowminded that you can't accept that people look at the world differently than you do, and don't think certain things are a big deal - and just because someone writes something doesn't mean they have prejudices just because you INTERPRET the text a certain way. You can't accept that you are wrong. You want me to be the bad guy and have all these prejudices, I understand that, but maybe YOU should ask yourself what your problem really is.
And it was never an open discussion - seeing as you kept wanting to put prejudices on me that I simply don't have, no matter what you think. I'm sorry.
Narrowmindedness is a funny thing, isn't it?
And it was never an open discussion - seeing as you kept wanting to put prejudices on me that I simply don't have, no matter what you think. I'm sorry.
Narrowmindedness is a funny thing, isn't it?
